I fell in love with fashion because it allowed me to express myself. We live in a judgmental society where people will look at you and decide whether or not they like you in a matter of seconds. I knew people were already looking at me because of my short stature, so why not give them a reason to look? Whether it was wearing some quirky trend or statement accessories, I hoped to change the topic to what I was wearing. However, in this quest I also managed to make some profound statements that I didn't know I was making about myself.
I never believed in going to extremes for fashion. I always opted for what was comfortable which meant I had a standard uniform of t-shirt and jeans. I was a tomboy who went to fashion school so now I like to call my style "tomboy chic" since I don't dress in ill-fitting clothes. I know I look ridiculous walking in heels and I also know the damaging effects they can have. The pain was not worth it to me and now my heels collection is slowly shrinking as I'm opting for more flats. I love and admire heels but as pieces of arts, not to stand on for hours.
I also wear a lot of pants. I feel self conscious in skirts or dresses because I haven't mastered the proper way to cross my legs as not to reveal too much. I feel I can be more myself and relaxed in pants knowing I'm not flashing the world. Was that meant to be a statement? No. But it also shows that even when we aren't consciously thinking about what we put on... we can still send a message to the world.
When dressing for a date, I don't understand why I need to dress outside the norm of my usual attire? Perhaps when I was younger I did, but now that I'm in my late 20's, more confident, more self-assured, I don't even factor in "will a guy find me sexy?" when I put an outfit together. For dates I ask "what's comfortable and what says something about my personality?" Here are two date outfits I wore recently: outfit 1 and outfit 2. Did you get a sense of who Kim is from those looks? Hopefully they did too.
I began writing this article just from my own personal experience but also to hopefully let other girls know they don't have to constantly think about the other sex when putting an outfit together. Then I came across this post (thanks to my fellow bloggers from The Collective) which was so disheartening. I'm sure there are plenty other posts like this one out there so I'm glad I began to draft this post and this really pushed me to finish it. I don't want to spend too much on it since the logic is absurd but I'd like to debunk a few of the points:
- "Men hate feminists." First of all, hate is a strong word. Secondly, most men have grown out of the 60's mindset that a woman should be in the kitchen (thankfully). Lastly, I don't appreciate that she is implying that feminism is a bad thing. To quickly define "feminist" it's someone who believes in the equal rights of women. Feminists are not limited to just women. I believe she's trying to stereotype feminists as butch women who don't wear makeup or shave their legs. By the way, I know guys who have dated girls who don't shave their legs which goes to show there's some body out there every body. But, think about it, do you really want to date a guy who doesn't think you should have equal rights? I sure as hell don't.
- Men actually love red lipstick. Which is why I hate wearing it. I've had my fellow heterosexual guys tell me that guys automatically think of naughty things when a girl wears red lipstick so I put it off for many years. But guess I forgot about it during my bold lipstick craze and wore it to go out with my boyfriend (now ex) who literally jumped me when he saw me. I was mortified! Now I tend to stick with other bold lipstick choices like corals and pinks. Those seem to keep the boys away. I don't know what it is... something about red.
|Me in a bow tie at Fashion Week with Audrey Allure|
I personally think women are doing themselves a disservice dressing for men because then how do you cultivate your own personal style? Constantly seeking the approval of others will get you nowhere. Especially when it comes to the opposite sex. Having a personal styles takes a great knowledge of who you are and what you want to portray to the world. Being self-assured is probably the best quality you can bring to a relationship because then you can figure out what you need from your significant other. I don't dress for men. I dress for myself.